Making the Marriage Last Longer

Children and Your Marriage

Many men don’t address one important issue before they get married, which can lead to problems down the line. If your lady is still young, they will most likely want to have children, if they don’t already. (That is a different issue to discuss in another blog post. Filipina women will definitely want kids.

If you feel that you’re too old to have children, or simply would prefer not to, or maybe you had a vasectomy years ago, then you must consider this before you go forward with a relationship. Don’t lie about it to her. If you have been “snipped” or have no interest in having kids, tell her in the very beginning. Give her an opportunity to back out.

If you lie about it, and she finds out later that you can’t or don’t want to father her children, don’t expect her to just laugh it off. She may very well leave you, and who could blame her if she did? Don’t believe her when she says, “Oh, it’s OK if we don’t have kids.” She may convince herself of that because of her desire to be with you, but it will come back to haunt her as the years go by, and she is getting past the age of being able to have children easily.

If she’s already has children, she will be far more understanding. You CAN believe her then if she says it’s OK. Marrying a single mum is something that you should consider. It is like having an instant family; you get more to love with two, three, or even four family members!  Moreover, you’re giving a child/children a Tatay (Tagalog for father), which is a beautiful thing; I can promise you I know about that!

Jealousy and the Perv

Jealousy in a relationship is normal and healthy. If a woman values you, she will be jealous. She doesn't want to share you with anyone or lose you. If you are accustomed to “Perving” - looking at other women - looking at Internet porn, etc., and making comments about them it in front of your wife, you will HURT her! It doesn't matter if they are just pictures.

Men are able to look at beautiful women and not get emotionally involved. I think it is in our genes. However, women need to be more emotionally involved before they “perv.” Men get this, but women don’t. If she doesn't care about you perving, then this means she doesn't really value you in my opinion. You should feel privileged if someone values you enough to be jealous.

Jealousy can destroy a marriage, and Filipino women tend to be more jealous than some others are. So don’t give them an excuse to be. Please, always try to understand each other and be sensitive to her feelings. Understand that she looks at many things differently than you do.

Forgive the small things. If she’s hurting, it is your job is to care.  Stop trying to defend yourself or to point fingers. Remember that she is a special gift you were given, and that vision and perception you had of that person and all their goodness in the beginning is still there. Always try to be the man she deserves and don’t forget it!

While it may not be easy all time – I guarantee you that if you follow the advice I am giving, you will have a much better chance of making your marriage last!