How Much Is A Visa Worth?

A prospective client contacted me several months ago. His Filipino wife was in Australia on a visitor visa (subclass 676 tourist visa), which had a “no further stay” condition attached to it. This condition prevents a visa holder from applying for multiple temporary or permanent visas while they are in Australia. 'No Further Stay' conditions include 8503, 8534 and 8535.

These are often applied to visa grants from Third World countries if the visa holder is considered a flight risk. In other words, they might continue to stay in Australia without the proper visa. This prevents the applicant from making another application for a visa while they are in Australia.

With this type of visa and condition, the man’s wife now had to leave the country before her subclass 676 tourist visa expired. The problem for them was the she was pregnant and was having some problems with her health, and her doctor did not want her to travel.

She had to leave before the baby was due, but it would be dangerous for her and her unborn child. This was a very stressful situation for this couple to say the least. Nevertheless, what can she do? It is possible to apply for a waiver of the 8503, if there are compelling and compassionate circumstances.

However, Australian immigration authorities rarely grant waivers, especially if the application is done improperly or poorly. Down Under Visa has had success with 8503 waivers before, and we believed that we could help this woman stay in Australia.  

Free Advice?

Apparently, when this bloke contacted me he was just looking for some free advice, because he wanted to apply for the waiver by himself. He sent me a copy of the cover letter he had written, and I told him frankly, that he needed professional help.

I have yet to hear back from him.

There are two things that I find disturbing about this man’s actions. Most importantly, why in God’s name would he endanger his wife’s migration status when getting the wavier was so crucial for her wellbeing and the baby? By trying to take on something that was clearly beyond him, he was considerably reducing their chance of success, as waivers are rarely granted, as I said before.

Australian Migration Law is a specialist area. Wouldn’t it make more sense to enlist the aid of an expert and increase your chance of success? Down Under Visa has actually had several lawyers as clients, because they were intelligent enough to know when to use a specialist.

I can only think that he was just trying to save some money. Which is why I ask, “How much is a visa worth? What price do you put on keeping your wife out of immigration detention? I’d like to think that immigration wouldn’t do that, but they would be within their legal right to do so.

Alternatively, they could deport her and they would have to wait several years for a permanent partner visa, which could be refused. Either way, there is the possibility that they could be apart for years, with no certainty of ever being together in Australia. Is it really worth saving a little bit of money for that?

The second point I would like to make is that while we love helping folks, we are also running a business to earn a living. We’re not giving out a lot of information free, or we would be out of business. Although, out blog post will give you some general knowledge of the issues you have with getting a partner visa.

Down Under Visa is reasonably priced and worth much more than our professional fees. Please don’t hesitate to contact Jeff Harvie and Down Under Visa for any immigration to Australia issue you have. Don’t try to do something so important by yourself. Always insist on a Registered Migration Agent!

Client Illegally Overstays in Australia – Now Has Permanent Visa!

Down Under Visa was contacted by a woman who found herself in a very difficult situation. She was basically a victim of poor advice and poverty. When you are poor, family pressure and desperation can make you do things that you shouldn't do. This young woman made the mistake of visiting Australia intending to overstay her visa and work, so she could help her family.

When immigration caught on to her, she was banned for 3 years and had to return to the Philippines. Then, unbelievably, (or believably) her family told her to try again by getting a fake name and fake passport - and do the whole overstay thing again! Well guess what? The scheme worked! She made it back to Australia and overstayed her visa a second time!

This second time around she began a steady relationship with an Australian citizen and became pregnant. This was a real wake-up call when she realized that she could be discovered and sent back again. She would then be in danger of losing her new love and her baby.

Someone referred her to Down Under Visa after another migration agent had advised her to leave Australia and to apply offshore. It is a good thing that she didn't take that advice because if she had, the poor mom-to-be would have had almost zero chance of returning once she left the country.

Our solution was to prepare her application and wait until the baby was born. We knew that when a baby is born in Australia fathered by an Aussie dad, the child is automatically a citizen. When her baby came, the visa application was presented onshore in Australia. Down Under Visa was pretty sure that immigration would not deport a mother and separate her from her baby and its Australian father.

It was a long hard fight, but now this young lady has a permanent visa (Subclass 801) that lets her stay for as long as she wants. This was a great victory for our both our client and for Down Under Visa.

Getting fiancée visas, spouse visas, and de facto partner visa applications through is fairly easy for us, after all these years. This one we had to work especially hard for, but a challenge is something that we don’t shy away from and just makes us work even harder.

For those of you who would say she didn't deserve it because she was an “illegal alien,” remember, we are practitioners of Australian Migration Law, and we believe that all people are entitled to a strong legal defense so that they receive justice.

We never give up on a client. Now this client is able to enjoy the rest of her life with her little girl and her partner, secure in the fact that she won’t be deported again.

If we can battle through a long and difficult case like this one, just imagine what we can do for simpler visa cases where there are no unlawful immigration issues! If you need help getting your Filipina lady to Australia, legally, I know that we can help you!  

Down Under Visa

Migration “Advice” Forums - The DIY Path to

Being a Migration Agent, I sometimes visit internet forums. Very often I am appalled when I see the crazy advice that some people give who have 10% knowledge and 90% confidence. I used to try and correct their erroneous advice, but I have stopped since these 10%-experts will just argue with their 90% confidence that they are right.

The ones, who are asking for advice, are usually trying to save a bit of money by applying for the visas without the aid of a RMA (Registered Migration Agent) such as myself. These unfortunate blokes are most likely dicing with their future happiness. I am not saying that I am the only Migration Agent who can help; there are other qualified RMA’s.

When I see the wacky things men are being told to do or are doing on their own, I can see the nightmares they are making for themselves. They are at worst ruining their chances of getting their Filipino lady to Australia - or at the least adding extra years to their waiting time. This already can seem like ages because, of course, couples are anxious to start their new life together in Australia.

If you are visiting migration forums and taking advice from these ten-percenters, you should realize that it is ILLEGAL for non- RMA’s to hand out migration advice, whether it is on online forums or otherwise. Just like it is illegal for individuals to give legal or medical advice without the proper credentials, it is no different for migration amateurs.

If someone is lucky enough to get a visa through all by themselves, this does NOT mean that they are qualified to give advice to nameless people on a website. Just look at how many failures and sad stories you see when you visit an online Australian Migration forum. While I wouldn’t say never visit one, just think carefully before you gamble with the future security and happiness of you and your loved one.

Don’t take the advice of a complete stranger online who call themselves “weluvsfilipinaz,” and risk your future! If you are looking for a prospective marriage visa or a partner visa for your Filipina lady, our Down Under Visa family is here to offer you professional advice and help.

Making the Marriage Last Longer

Children and Your Marriage

Many men don’t address one important issue before they get married, which can lead to problems down the line. If your lady is still young, they will most likely want to have children, if they don’t already. (That is a different issue to discuss in another blog post. Filipina women will definitely want kids.

If you feel that you’re too old to have children, or simply would prefer not to, or maybe you had a vasectomy years ago, then you must consider this before you go forward with a relationship. Don’t lie about it to her. If you have been “snipped” or have no interest in having kids, tell her in the very beginning. Give her an opportunity to back out.

If you lie about it, and she finds out later that you can’t or don’t want to father her children, don’t expect her to just laugh it off. She may very well leave you, and who could blame her if she did? Don’t believe her when she says, “Oh, it’s OK if we don’t have kids.” She may convince herself of that because of her desire to be with you, but it will come back to haunt her as the years go by, and she is getting past the age of being able to have children easily.

If she’s already has children, she will be far more understanding. You CAN believe her then if she says it’s OK. Marrying a single mum is something that you should consider. It is like having an instant family; you get more to love with two, three, or even four family members!  Moreover, you’re giving a child/children a Tatay (Tagalog for father), which is a beautiful thing; I can promise you I know about that!

Jealousy and the Perv

Jealousy in a relationship is normal and healthy. If a woman values you, she will be jealous. She doesn't want to share you with anyone or lose you. If you are accustomed to “Perving” - looking at other women - looking at Internet porn, etc., and making comments about them it in front of your wife, you will HURT her! It doesn't matter if they are just pictures.

Men are able to look at beautiful women and not get emotionally involved. I think it is in our genes. However, women need to be more emotionally involved before they “perv.” Men get this, but women don’t. If she doesn't care about you perving, then this means she doesn't really value you in my opinion. You should feel privileged if someone values you enough to be jealous.

Jealousy can destroy a marriage, and Filipino women tend to be more jealous than some others are. So don’t give them an excuse to be. Please, always try to understand each other and be sensitive to her feelings. Understand that she looks at many things differently than you do.

Forgive the small things. If she’s hurting, it is your job is to care.  Stop trying to defend yourself or to point fingers. Remember that she is a special gift you were given, and that vision and perception you had of that person and all their goodness in the beginning is still there. Always try to be the man she deserves and don’t forget it!

While it may not be easy all time – I guarantee you that if you follow the advice I am giving, you will have a much better chance of making your marriage last! 

Making Your Marriage Last

Making it last is the hard part!

Allow me to share a few thoughts that I hope will help your marriage go more smoothly and last forever.

Number one is – make the right choice from the start! Maybe it is too late in the game for some of you gents, but I hope that you can read this before making a bad decision!

Sometimes the cliché of the “poor girl from a poor family who will do anything for a good life” is true. She is young and not very experienced; maybe she has never even left her town or Provence. An Aussie man shows up, and to her he is a gift from god.

She falls in love, and he thinks he is the luckiest bloke in the world. They get married, get her visa, and the years go by. Her memories of poverty have faded away. She starts having second thoughts and says to herself, “What was I thinking?”

The problem is, that she was never in love with you, hardly even knew you, it happened fast. If you use the head and ignore the fog of romance (and horniness), you will KNOW when somebody is really in love with you. You really do! If you are honest with yourself, you will see that there’s not enough substance.

Sometimes you need to think for the girl, and you need to back off and do the right thing. 

Wear the trousers

I’ve touched on this before, and it is worth repeating. 

Most Filipina women want their men to be men!

Someone has to wear the trousers in your family, and your wife will do it if you don’t, rather than let the family fall apart. This goes against her nature, but if this happens, it is YOUR FAULT – not hers.

I have witnessed situations where the Filipina wife comes home after working hard all day, only to find her husband just lounging around in his underpants watching TV. He hasn’t gotten up off his lazy ass all day and lifted one finger to do anything around the house. Hasn’t hung out the laundry or washed one dish. Of course, she will be angry and lose respect for him. There’s something very wrong with this picture, a recipe for failure of the relationship.

My wife is my partner in our practice, but I am still the man in the driver’s seat and always make sure that I take more on my shoulders than she does. This is very important for many reasons. It’s important for her and important to making your marriage last.

A man’s value is granted by what he produces.

That is our nature.

If we don’t produce, we will stop valuing ourselves.

When we have low self-esteem.

Our wife’s will notice it,

Then they start to lose respect for us.

It is as simple as that. Don’t let it happen. Pick yourself up, and be someone that your wife can respect and love. 

How to Make Your Marriage Last

While there are some cultural differences between a Filipino woman and an Australian or any other nationality, still marriage is marriage. Just because there isn't any divorce in the Philippines doesn't mean that a Filipina will never any disagreements with you. She will not blindly follow everything you say. Marriage takes work no matter whom you marry.

Of course, when she finally gets her visa and you bring her to Australia, everything is very exciting and wonderful. You wake up in the morning with her next to you, she fusses over you, your life seems complete now, and you think you will live happily ever after in wedded bliss!

As time goes on and you have your first argument, reality sets in. Oh wow, my wife is mad at me and hasn't spoken to me for days. What went wrong? Nothing has gone wrong really. She is a woman, and as they say - men are from Mars, and women are from Venus!

Sometimes it is just a lack of communication. A misunderstanding based on an expression that was not understood for example, because Filipinos never heard that expression, or don’t have the same sense of humour. One time a client of mine told me that he said to his wife, “See ya in a while crocodile,” and his wife got so mad because she thought he was saying her skin was like a crocodile!  

Little things can cause problems you would never anticipate.  We see many couples who are happy, but sometimes we hear back from clients and find they are really struggling in their relationship. Most of the time their problems are not real problems at all. They’re caused by their own ignorance, ego and inflexibility.

We really hate to see that, especially when you think of how hard they struggled and what they went through to get where they are, only to see a dream turn into a nightmare. I wish I could just shake them, and say, “What’s the matter with you?” 

Australian Visa, Down Under Visa, Fiancee Visas, Philippines to Australia

One of the most common issues that Australian men have questions about in regards to getting visas for the women they want to bring to Australia - is the legal status of a prospective partner who is married.

Down Under Visa recently had a client contact us because he was concerned that an attorney in the Philippines had told him that he must get an annulment in the Philippines because he had married his estranged wife in the Philippines. This was going to take a very long time and cost an exorbitant amount.

No doubt, the attorney saw him coming and decided it was time to have his house renovated! Things like this do happen in Philippines, unfortunately.

There are some Filipinos who want to get married outside of the Philippines. Some do, and there is nothing wrong with this. However, if they think they are going to get a divorce out of the country, it is not going to happen. There is no divorce in the Philippines, and leaving the country isn’t a legal loophole.

Art. 15 of the Civil Code states:

“Laws relating to family rights and duties or to the status, condition, and legal capacity of persons are binding upon citizens of the Philippines, even though living abroad.”

In other words, Filipinos, no matter what part of the world they are in – are bound by Philippine laws, including those of divorce. Therefore if your Filipina is married, it won’t matter where she gets the divorce, as it will be void or invalid in the Philippines.

However, here is the catch. This means a Filipino who is married to another Filipino. In the case of a Filipino citizen and a foreigner, it is different story.

Divorce decrees secured outside the Philippines are recognized in certain instances.

Article 26 (Paragraph 2) of the Family Code says:

All marriages solemnized outside the Philippines, in accordance with the laws in force in the country where they were solemnized, and valid there as such, shall also be valid in this country, except those prohibited under Articles 35 (1), (4), (5) and (6), 3637 and 38. (17a)

Where a marriage between a Filipino citizen and a foreigner is validly celebrated and a divorce is thereafter validly obtained abroad by the alien spouse capacitating him or her to remarry, the Filipino spouse shall have capacity to remarry under Philippine law. (As amended by Executive Order 227)

Just to make this clear - Philippines Law recognizes overseas divorces, and allows remarriage; however, this only applies to you as an Australian who needs a divorce.

Don’t be fooled by dishonest lawyers, as our client’s lawyer tried to do before we informed him of the truth. You will have to wait much longer than you need to. You can easily get a divorce in Australia, and it’s simple, quick, and inexpensive!

As stated in the first part of this blog - If you meet a Filipina who is already married to another Filipino, then she is bound by Philippine Law if she wants to end her marriage legally. This is by no means an easy thing to do. 

Visa Problems – No Worries! Usually Solved!

Down Under Visa is presented with many kinds of problems that couples are having trying to meet the requirements for their visa application. We could just say –“Sorry mate, but we can’t help you, and walk away. However, that’s not how we roll! Rarely will we turn down a case. We accept the challenge.

Our clients present us with many difficult scenarios and many serious problems such as:

 ·         Health problems

·         Child custody issues

·         False documents

·         Annulments

·         Previous visa application refusals

We have even had couples who are squabbling simply because of misunderstanding one another. With our help clearing up the confusion, they were able to once again be in harmony, and get their treasured Partner Visa. With our years of experience and expertise in acquiring fiancée visas, we find a way to work through any issues our clients are having.

We deal with problems as they come. All legitimate clients are entitled to a fair go, and we do whatever it takes.

Two Common Traps Facing Beginners in the Visa Process

Down Under Visa are Australian Registered Migration Agents. Most of our clients are Australian men who have fallen in love with Filipina women, and want to get them visas so they can migrate to Australia. There is a variety of issues that our clients face, but two of them occur quite frequently, so I would like to focus on these issues in this blog post.

Trap Number 1

The issue that comes up the most is when the client tells us that their lady is married. They will say, “But she is separated from her husband.” The problem is that, to get married, or to apply for a prospective marriage visa, both parties must be free to marry!

The Philippines do not have a “no fault” divorce such as Australia does. A married couple may be legally separated, but “the marriage bonds shall not be severed.” The Philippines has an annulment process instead. (Refer to the Family Code of the Philippines)

Vigan City: A Touch of Spain

Vigan City is on the western coast of Luzon, and is a famous in the past as the centre of Chinese trade ships during the 15th century, Vigan was once an island itself. After hundreds of years of erosion and silt along the Mestizo River have now made Vigan a part of the mainland of Luzon itself.

Vigan City is like a city set in a time capsule and is still continually being preserved for all the generations to come. The city since 1999 has been credited as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. This induction brings light to Vigan and allows for the world to take notice of one of the last remaining Hispanic towns within the Philippines.

Philippines President, Elpidio Quirino and Padre Jose Burgos, a Philippine National Hero, both call Vigan City their home. Quirino was born in 1890, Elpidio in 1919 was elected to the Philippine Congress .He freed the Philippines from American control in 1934 and then became the vice president to Manuel Roxas. Roxas died in 1948 and Quirino became President for six years but his administration suffered from corruption.

If you love history you will enjoy strolling along the cobblestone streets of Calle Crisologo. There is also something for animal lovers who visit Baluarte – a mini zoo owned by former Ilocos Sur Governor Chavit Singson.

When visiting the historic area look out for the horse drawn carts which the Mestizo Historic District with its ancestral homes which encompass several architectural designs including Spanish Colonial, European, Filipino and Oriental elements.

There are several districts within the city to see first-hand the time honoured traditions of Abel weaving and pot making. From hand and foot powered looming to kneading of pottery by caribou oxen to produce traditional pots, urns and jars.

Vigan City is a city set in a time capsule and preserved for generations to come. The city has been marked as a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1999 and is small in size but big in beauty and history. From the churches of St. Paul’s Cathedral to the bold St. Augustine cathedral the beauty of these structures will astound you. Not only are they beautiful in themselves but the bell tower, cemetery and plaza’s which surround them keep a person in full photographic mode along the way. Many of these sites can be toured on foot or by tricycle transport due to their close proximity.

For those looking for fun adventures outside of the historic distinction visit the Balurate Zoo. From tigers to ostriches this zoo carries many local and regional animals for everyone to see and enjoy. The unique dinosaur statues are another great photo opportunity for the whole family.

From the river tours of the Mestizo River to the distinctive eateries, cafes and local hang outs, Vigan City has it all. One trip and you will fall in love with such a small city with a massive hold on the heart and soul of the Philippine Islands.

Jeff Harvie is an Australian Registered Migration Agent (MARN 0959797) who has given up the quiet life in Australia a few years back for one more adventurous with his Filipina wife and kids in Manila, Philippines. He runs Down Under Visa, which specialises in Australian partner visas for those Aussie men who fall madly in love with the local girls and want to bring them to Australia.

In the Philippines-Batan Islands

When looking at the map of Luzon in the Philippines and to the right at the top you will see the Batanes Islands. The capital of Batan is Basco which was named after Capitán General José Basco who led the Philippines to victory over New Spain, which is now Mexico. He established the Economic Society of Friends of the Country, which revived the tobacco industry in the Philippines and made the colony independent, by freeing it from the control of New Spain, which is today part of Mexico and other Pacific Islands including Philippines.

Basco the capital of Batan has around an 8000 population along with a very small airport that links to Manila the capital. The 1980 Batanes province population of just over 12,000 was only a 6% increase over the 1948 population. The estimated 1989 population of 14,000 was a 6% decrease from the 1988 estimate.

The Japanese invaded the Philippines starting at Batan Island. Their 14th Army began its invasion with a landing on Batan on 8 December 1941, making this the first landing on American territory, which was the same day as the attack on Pearl Harbour. It’s fair to say that Pearl Harbour was the major news story for that month.

The Philippines suffers from natural disasters and on June 1, 2008 a 6.3-magnitude earthquake struck off the coast of the Batanes Islands but there were no casualties or damage reported.

Batanes has the smallest province in the Philippines in terms of population and land area and is composed of ten islands and islets located about 270 kilometres north of mainland Luzon and 161 kilometres from the southernmost point of Taiwan. The largest islands are Itbayat, Batan and Sabtang. The Batanes Islands are so far flung out in the China Sea that from Y’ami- some people say that the islands may have belong to Taiwan.

Electricity on the island is provided by a generator, which is only switched on between mid-day and midnight. Most of the Ivatan people here have never travelled to the mainland, let alone the capital. Batan scenery is totally different from elsewhere in the Philippines. The island is dominated by a dormant volcano, Mount Iraya, more than 1,009(1,517) metres.

Mt. Iraya can be climbed, but only during the height of the dry season and with the aid of a guide. The usual way starts at Basco.  A partially well paved road from Basco to Imnajbu in the southeast winds along the island’s rocky cliffs, down to the beaches and rocky shores, and back up again. Though this can be done in one day, at least one overnight stop is suggested.

Jeff Harvie is an Australian Registered Migration Agent (MARN 0959797) who has given up the quiet life in Australia a few years back for one more adventurous with his Filipina wife and kids in Manila, Philippines. He runs Down Under Visa, which specialises in Australian partner visas for those Aussie men who fall madly in love with the local girls and want to bring them to Australia.

The Western Curse of Feminism

I believe that while some aspects of feminism in the west may have helped women
in certain ways, I also think that western society has suffered from it. The
unintended consequence is a nearly 50% failure rate in marriages, an appalling
statistic.

With these kinds of unfortunate failures, many men think
that the solution is to head to the Philippines and marry a
"submissive" Asian woman. They have a “mail order bride”
mentality, believing that a Filipina will do anything for the
man who rescues her from poverty.

These men are surely mistaken. Just forget everything that
you have been told about subservient Filipino women who
are “trained by their mothers to serve men.” This is just a
myth. If you think you can find a Filipina who acts like a
docile little lady that only speaks when spoken to, and bows
and calls you “Master,” sorry mate, not going to happen.

Me Tarzan - You Jane

While Filipina's are not the submissive type of woman that some men have been led to
imagine, they are, however, happy being ladies. They won't want to swap gender roles with
you, and aren't going to be making radical feminist-inspired anti-male put-downs; they want to
marry a man who is a man!

You will find that Filipina ladies are non-confrontational, if they are treated kindly and with
respect. They are good cooks, will clean the house, and take wonderful care of her husband and
children. She will happily take care of you as a loving and feminine wife does, but expects to be
taken care of in turn by a strong man who will protect and support his family.

However, don’t think that you can act like a tyrant or a King in his palace and get away with it.
In contrast, don’t act like a “metrosexual” style spineless wuss either. If you’re a strong good
man, who is a loving, kind, faithful, devoted family man, a good provider, and treats them well,
most will stick by you and treat you with the respect that a good man should have.
Respect must be earned and it must be deserved. If you’re lazy, cheat on them, are a bad
parent, treat them with a lack of kindness or are violent, they will very quickly lose respect for
you.

Harmony

My wife and I have tremendous respect for each other, and for each other’s unique abilities and talents. When one of us is weak or in need the other will be strong. I take care of the men-things, and she takes care of the woman-things. I don’t put on the apron, and she doesn't put on the overalls. She spoils me rotten, and I spoil her rotten. 

We would be lost without each other, and that’s how it should be. Find the right Filipina lady, and you have found the perfect partner and wife.

Language Issues with Your Filipino Lady

Most Filipino’s (who have gone to school) were taught English. English is the Philippines second language. No other Asian country has as many English speakers. Street signs, and the labels on products in stores, are all in English. You can communicate easily and survive without speaking a word of Tagalog in the Philippines.

 However, most ordinary Filipinos prefer to speak Tagalog during every day conversations, or in whatever regional dialect is spoken where they live. The less educated and the poorer the person is….and the further you get from Manila…the less that person will want to have a conversation in English. Those that are forced to speak English to communicate with you will commonly say – “it gives them a nose bleed”

The Aussie Mumble

One very important thing you should recognize is that – very few will learn how to speak or understand the Aussie Mumble! I can honestly say being and Aussie myself, that we tend to mutilate the English language, pronouncing some words very strangely. We make entire sentences sound like single, long words, by running words into each other.

Entire letters can be mumbled away into oblivion. Our adenoids are just as important to speech as our vocal chords are! As the locals are fond of saying - we “swallow our words.” There isn’t any clear exact pronunciation for the Aussie. No-way-mate!  And the poor ladies have to try to interpret what the heck we are talking about in our mumbling Aussie drawl. 

No worries – your Mahal will get used to it in time, just as you will have to get used to her accent, which is another whole issue that we will leave for another post!

So until she gets used to your accent and speech patterns: Speak slowly. Speak clearly.

Try to annunciate each letter and syllable of a word, the ones that we have long considered superfluous.  And very importantly - encourage her to please TELL you if she doesn’t understand what you, or other Aussie family or friends are saying. What’s funny is that she will feel like it is her English that is poor when she is in your world of language mutilators and mumblers, and not yours!

The “Shy” Filipino Stereotype

Filipinos may avoid talking to English speaking people, or even make eye-contact if they feel insecure with their English and be embarrassed, which comes off as shy, and to Aussie’s, this can also be seen as a sign of rudeness or contempt. Explain to her and try to help her overcome her shyness so as to not cause any unnecessary offense or misunderstandings with your relatives and friends, who may think she is being aloof or ignorant. Explain this to them also.

When you are with her family, realize that this is why they may seem to be ignoring you, just because they feel embarrassed about their poor English. While it is fun and cute for you to learn Tagalog, and a little is useful, her improving her English is much more practical.

So just hang in there, it is a learning experience, and you and your Mahal will gradually be in sync and understanding each other on a higher level. And remember - love conquers all!

Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Your Mind To Your Filipina

Western men have spent the last 40 years being told that we are being patriarchal and dominating when we are trying to be decisive, strong, and reliable. We are encouraged to discover our “feminine side,”which is apparently always a positive thing. We are even expected to believe that the Queer Eye for Straight Guy people can come to our house and fix all our testosterone-induced problems.
Many TV shows and movies tell you that the wife and kids hold the moral high-ground and are the smart ones, while the dad is a buffoon. Then there is the bad dad who can’t go to Joey’s baseball game or watch his daughters dance recital because he has to work late (so he can pay for the uniform and baseball gear and the dance lessons). So then what happens?

Men end up scared to be men. He goes to visit his lady in the Philippines and agrees to everything. He expresses no opinion about anything, so he won’t be accused of being patriarchal and dominating.
When her relatives try to take advantage of him, he meekly opens his wallet and says “here ya go,” even though he can’t really afford it.

This spineless bloke is also scared of being seen as a racist; so he surrenders his own cultural identity
and conditioning to her and the Filipino ways, no matter how bonkers they are. What she wants, she
gets. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind! You have experience and intelligence. Use it!

If the person you want to spend your life with has an idea with which you don’t agree, one that may

adversely affect your relationship and your future - Then TELL her! 

Here are 7 things that you DO NOT want to do:

1. Give more money to relatives than you can afford or you are happy with.

2. Sponsor relatives to come to Australia if you’re really not happy with the idea.

3. Put off her immigration process just because her mother doesn’t want her to leave, if you think

it should be started. These things take time and the longer you wait, the longer it takes.

4. Agree to get married in the Philippines instead of Australia just because she wants to, if you

would rather have your wedding in Australia.

5. Wait three years to fill out her immigration application because her parents want her to finish

going to college first, if you feel strongly otherwise.

6. Have your bed full of 7 and 8 year old children if it makes you uncomfortable.

7. Change your diet to nothing but Filipino food, while she is not willing to make any dietary

changes. 

TALK about things!
Begin your relationship making joint-decisions, and make sure BOTH of you do plenty of compromising.
This is what good marriages are built on, and it will ensure that you have a close relationship - where
BOTH of you are happy and fulfilled - for many years to come.